‘On Hold’ For Customer Service! Again!!
Getting to a Customer Service ‘Human’ these days has become an extreme sport. You could even liken it to a sadistic game show. Your full range of human emotions rear themselves as you make your way through the customer service on hold obstacle course.
Dialing a customer service number is easy enough. The mission still feels hopeful and pleasant while you listen to your choice of ‘press number’ options even if you occasionally zone out in this early phase where you must have heard the options but somehow you didn’t pay attention and now you’re in the phone tree do-over. At this point you’re only annoyed at yourself.
Things start to change with the lead up to the cliffhanger moment when the nice automated lady reveals ‘your expected wait time’. At this point they should just come right out and say;
“We know this is really gonna piss you off so it's your call if you want to wait”.
Charlie and I take it from there, in this episode of The Official Teenagers, can’t make this up
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Improv comedy podcast filled with laughter, wisecracks, self-deprecation, storytelling, commiserating, and from time to time, some fun interviews.
No matter how old you are, we ALL have that ever present teenagers’ spirit in all of us!
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Season 1; Episode 1:
The Official Seenagers, Can't Make This Up. Teaser. A compilation of a few hilarious episodes. Additionally, we added a segment named "Jeez, What The Heck Happened To You This Week?! Listen, laugh, and please join in on the fun!
Holding Steady While 'On Hold' For Customer Service!
Thu, 3/31 12:34PM â¢ 15:47
customer service, tequila, call, minutes, life, biopsy, wait, music, started, problem, hang, permeated, laundry, fortaleza, drinking, psa tests, listen, fullest, elbow, day
Debbie Charlie, Charlie PongerCharlie Ponger:
Hey Seenagers, Teenagers Welcome to The official Seenagers podcast. So no matter how old you are, we all have that ever present teenager spirit and all of a stowaway in today's episode. It's another one of those life absurdities being on hold with customer service. DebtDebbie Charlie:
holding on to customer service I think I was holding for a week.Charlie Ponger:
Charlie ponger Hi, guys,Debbie Charlie:
customer service today because the world has gone nuts. Nuts completely nuts. Yeah. And you can't get anybody on the phone. No. They go, we only accept you go to our online, you go online can't figure it out. Then they say okay, we have a virtual person. And they go Have you tried chat? And then how about calling this? Here's our support number. Yeah, then you call the support number? And they say, Okay, we'll be with you in I don't know, the next available operator will be in 36 minutes. I have to decide. Is this worth 36 minutes of my life? And then sometimes it's important enough that you do but then you zone out because there's music they put on like you just were playing? Yeah, I couldn't believe you actually had handy like you're playing customers. As your relaxation, musicCharlie Ponger:
or relaxation. Wait, here it is. Again. I want to blow my brains out when I hear right what do you want to do with that?Debbie Charlie:
Okay, starts off with a give you the music, right? Yeah. And you're like, Okay, you remember why you're called them? Yeah. Company or what's your fear banking? Or whatever the the moment of truth that you were like, so upset that you had to call customer service? Yeah. Well, then they say the next available operator within about 26 minutes. You think Alright, fine, fine. I'll do something while I'm waiting. Because what do you do? Cuz I do I do certain I do chores chores on the computer. You take the phone with you. And you start off dishes laundry? Yeah. And the music every once in a while permeates right. And you go from thinking about why you called and the problem you're pissed about to your childhood being to be really? Oh, yeah, I have to pick up something at this door. And don't forget, let me do with things. Let me check my notes of things to remember that. Yeah. And then you realize you've been standing in space for 29 minutes when they say 26 Oh, you're lucky now. And now you start to get the boil starts happening in your your nerves, right? Your anxiety like, I don't know, I still hang on to they forget me. It's just like a faulty system. Now it's 37 minutes. You're like, Okay, now if I can't take your gloves like who these people like when they think they are 26 minutes? I'm willing to wait 26 minutes even now it's 37 minutes now it's 49Charlie Ponger:
Yeah. You can never get backDebbie Charlie:
when they get the ever pick. up I'm gonna just tell him what I think they never pick up but you take who? Lilly Tomlin?Charlie Ponger:
Again, can't take it because I just did that. Was that music right? I had that said 20 minutes. It was ended up being and of course now. You're so possessed with this crap. It was 57 It's like, Alright, that was 57 minutes. In the meantime, I did the dishes. I emptied the dishwasher. I did my laundry. I folded my laundry.Debbie Charlie:
Customer Service pisses you off. What do youCharlie Ponger:
do you write notes? I just wrote a note to Facebook, by the way about all that stuff. Yeah, I'm trying to play some ads on Facebook. Impossible. Okay, really? Yeah, impossible. I mean, I'm trying to promote the teenager so we get expanded listenership, right. Yeah. AndDebbie Charlie:
Dan. Yeah, which was, you know, what I did some listeners what I went to the pharmacy line, ifCharlie Ponger:
I want to go hang out at the Shell station,Debbie Charlie:
three people. Let me tell you about customer service first good because there's a definition of what somebody's supposed to do under the category of customer service. Customer service,Charlie Ponger:
you're reading that little line,Debbie Charlie:
or service is the provision of service to customers before during and after a purchase? Yeah, the perception of success of such interactions is dependent on employees who can adjust themselves to the personality of the guests. Forget it, which I think is an amazing way of saying you better have a stiff upper lip if you're taking a job. And I will tell you I'm very respectful to customer service peopleCharlie Ponger:
because you apologize to them. I'm really sorry that I called you, you know,Debbie Charlie:
very hard job. It's very. I feel like they take a lot of crap all day. Yeah, of course when they actually come on. You think I I just hit the top of Mount Rushmore. I go, Oh my god, I got a human. I'm so grateful. How are you? Who are you? How's your life? CanCharlie Ponger:
I do something else? Yeah, you like cake. I love your voice. Your moist cake. Let me tell you somethingDebbie Charlie:
that was grandma's recipe. Apple not spicy. There's nothing better digress. There's nothing better than moist cake. Okay, so any customer service? Yeah, I have actually gone above and beyond to answer a survey or comment. Kind all the time. If somebody does the right thing for me and goes out of their way I go out of my way, right? Let their boss or company know they've doneCharlie Ponger:
except you say at the end? Because I do give them a raise. Yes,Debbie Charlie:
I get married. Yeah, me too. Yeah, give them a raise. Yeah, because having this job and doing it well, is a very hard thing. And God bless them for doing it right. But when it goes really wrong, we just said the limbo thing. Trying to get anything done is really frustrating unbelievers. So many people can't function to solve.Charlie Ponger:
And it's, you know, it's permeated down to your friends and everyone else because now a lot of people feel like they don't need to respond to a text, or an email. Or a phone call. Sometimes it's I've actually heard guys say, why that mother never called me back, then. And then you're standing next to him and someone else guy, I'm not gonna take that call.Debbie Charlie:
Here's the worst part. When a customer service people say if you don't want to hold on this long, if you push number three, we'll call you back in 20 minutes. We have your number, and then you don't pick up the phone because you don't know who's calling.Charlie Ponger:
Oh, well, you're you forgot that you even didDebbie Charlie:
it like 10 seconds ago. Yeah. Who are these people? Oh, right. That was the people. No, crap.Charlie Ponger:
I missed that one. Yeah,Debbie Charlie:
you know, is bad with that. And it's really sad. Doctors and nurses, they always tell you from a random number that you have no clue what it is like, you don't pick it up. You don't pick it up. Then you got to call back. The number says Sorry, can't back this number. Which number is not in service, you have to call back and nobody. And I think there's a conspiracy when it comes to test results. Did you ever notice? Yeah. That when you're waiting for the results of say like a biopsy, or like blood? They call you on a Friday? Yeah. And they leave a message. And you're like, Oh, God, talk to him right now. Am I gonna die? And you gotta call back like they're gone for the week. You call in pick it up? Because you know, it was them? Yeah. And you don't know if you're gonna live or die till Monday. But so this is actually a very interesting mindset that goes on. Because was it better to have not known? Or? I don't know, I've known now if it was bad news. Yeah, it's better. You don't know the Mondays we knock yourself out last weekend. But then if it is good news, you even relax on the weekend, not thinking it was your last year. Right? Well, yeah, the problem with everything right? Yeah. Wait, no problem with everything is that everything's a problem. Everything's a problem. The problem with everything is that everything's a problem.Charlie Ponger:
So I had, I had a little problem like that years ago, you know, you get these PSA tests. And it came back what it wasn't really high, but the doctor wanted to do a biopsy. Let me tell you something. That was like the worst experience of my life. I couldn't even believe it was going on right now. And then that happened to me. You know, I got a phone call on Friday. And then I had to wait till Monday and the guy goes, well, there's nothing wrong with you. Yeah, really all I you know, good rabbits.Debbie Charlie:
You would have had maybe not as good a weekend, if he knew you're gonna live. Like the fact that you're not sure you're like,Charlie Ponger:
oh, let's party. Right? And when he found out me, you know, my ex perpetual fiancee at the time, ciao. She's very passive. And she actually, like started punching me when she found out I didn't have anything wrong with me. And I was like, Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing? IDebbie Charlie:
said she was pissed. You weren't dying? No, ICharlie Ponger:
think she was really happy. That was your way of expressing really? Yeah. Expressive like Asian, Chinese.Debbie Charlie:
Okay. So every day in the world for as long as humans have existed, there's been something to worry about. Okay. And the problem with work our time in the world right now. We're up in your face every 36 seconds from every source and it's very hard. Yeah, just stay steady and think that you can just live your life to the fullest without paying attention to the suffering and the pain that many other peopleCharlie Ponger:
well, that's that's a bit of a problem, right?Debbie Charlie:
It's a huge problem but you have to manage your Self it's very hard. And your emotions. Oh, and your guilt. You have guilt. Yeah, Jojo. I'm heavy guilt. As a rapper I be heavy guilt. I do feel guilty about one being free to be and you know, I survived cancer twice. So I think every day is a gift. Yes. back next week, but, um, and so I have to live accordingly. It's very hard to keep your head in that game. Yet living to the life to the fullest and trying to be happy and joyful, while other people are suffering so badly and losing their lives and there's more going on and there's trouble in the world and there's, you know, in reality, and it's hard to not hear that anymore to think you can just pretend that's not happening and feel happy about going on. So yeah, it's called being human. That's the affliction I haveCharlie Ponger:
of a drink. She just grabbed she just pulled her face away from the mic. Grab that glass of tequila just said that she's off her soapbox now. So we're okay. What's with the elbow? What are you doing with the elbow? You whack your chicken wing in the elbow as you're getting ready to I can't wait. Oh my god, we got to do we kind of do some video here, man because the minute of this is crazy.Debbie Charlie:
We still have the tequila, which is absurd. Usually we have a toast at the beginning. Yeah. And then we just get a nice relaxed mood and put it down. I am now hanging on to it like it's a crutch. No. Something more lovable.Charlie Ponger:
Hey, this tequila. It's actually what the laser. It's really good.Debbie Charlie:
Holy cow. I didn't know we change brands because somebody told us we were drinking crappy tequila even though it was a celebrity brand. And I don't want to bash anybody but apparently we got the wrong memo.Charlie Ponger:
We did. This is much better.Debbie Charlie:
This is the nicest experience I made ever stop drinking.Charlie Ponger:
You're gonna grab the bottle and go home.Debbie Charlie:
I'm gonna add this bout to Fortaleza to my cereal in the morning. Who needs milk? My Zumba arm.Charlie Ponger:
Made me snort. Jesus Christ.Debbie Charlie:
Oh, come on. Life is short. We have to figure out so let's talk about having fun. That's easy. Okay. Now because you know if we got a customer service all day long, we need to break out so uh, we're talking about let's get to the topic. We can't leave these people in the middle of a specific topic that we started this podcast without sort of wrapping it whyCharlie Ponger:
don't we start wrapping it up. God your heart. You're all over the place today. I'm sitting here nice and calm. Huh? Oh my goodness. You don't remember what we how we started this thing. I'm gonna tell you when we started this thing about being on hold. Oh, that was the other app that was on hold I forgot that I have no idea where we are. I love it. I'm so more tequila she holds a well hey, listen, everyone. Thank you so much for listening.Debbie Charlie:
I have a problem.Charlie Ponger:
I was in my clothes over hereDebbie Charlie:
that's it now. Well,Charlie Ponger:
thank you very much for listening. Please sign up.Debbie Charlie:
Wait, they call us on our customer service. They can leave a message and we actually getCharlie Ponger:
back. People have called in our website. Yeah. Because this isDebbie Charlie:
so much fun. Nobody answers we're gonna take your message machine but we get back.Charlie Ponger:
Yeah, we definitely give you a shout out after that like Mark hat or I need to give Mark hat or a shout out. Or Hello, Mark Hatter Yep. So he left a voicemail about a month ago. So we're getting back to now. There's so much for our customer service. Alright, listen, pass our name around willya because you guys don't even know how to share your friggin phones. Right so I don't know just like figure it out and send it somebody else. Jesus Christ and see later, see oh man, do we have fun or what? Unbelievable. So, hey, listen, thank you so much for listening to the official teenagers can't make this up. Right. We have a lot Debbie and I have a lot of fun tiny favor to ask again. Ratings and revenue reviews are really important to us on Apple and Spotify. It only takes you a second. It's a tiny favor to ask. If you can't figure it out. Ask your kids because a lot of them also listen to the show. So you just go down, you find it, you scroll down, you find the official teenagers actually typed that in first. I can't even explain it right? So you type that in verse, you scroll down, you'll see ratings and reviews, you can listen to more shows. That's how we get our ratings up. Okay. And if you need to email me, please is Charlie at the official Seenagers.com. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks so much. All right. Until next time, see you later. Bye.