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March 27, 2022

Aunt Mary, Tommy & Me! by Charlie Ponger

Aunt Mary, Tommy & Me!   by Charlie Ponger

It was a first for us, Tommy, and me. So, of course, we were a little nervous. We wanted to get it right. 

As instructed, Tommy and I stood in line, anticipating our queue.

"Stand here" "Wait for the guy to get out of the car and open the door."

I Handed Tommy a piece of gum. We began to chew, intentionally imitating rabbits looking at each other and laughing.

Hey, we were young and nervous, alright? Well, hang on, complete disclosure as Seenagers that hasn't changed.

Now the ascent up a steep and short staircase carrying Aunt Mary. Me at the low end, taking the bulk of the weight. Tommy, just forefront of me. 

I tossed my chewing gum; I've always been a quick thinker, Tommy not much.

 So here we are, on the church's steps, the pinnacle of steepness. One hundred percent of Aunt Mary's weight on me, and the precession stops. 

 "You gotta be kidding me," I recall thinking.

I look up, and there's Tommy still chewing his gum, still like a crazed rabbit.

"Tom, Tommy," Well beyond a whisper.

"Tom, gum!" 

Tommy's eyes now golf balls size, panics.

My closest cousin, Tommy, removes one hand from the CASKET and poor Aunt Mary starts wobbling!

Yes, wobbling. I have a wobbling casket on my hands; it's not a good look. 

Tommy flings his chewing gum, sticks to his finger, and lands in slow motion, guess where? On the top of Aunt Mary!

So now this purple chewed gum stuck to the top Aunt Mary. Yeah, it's in plain sight. It's freakin purple, for God's sake. 

Tommy looks at the blob of chewed-up gum. With that combination of comedic fear and disbelief, he turns back to me, with his eyes wide open. His eyes say, "Can you believe this shit?"

  As we carried Aunt Mary down the aisle, my shoulders bouncing, tears down my cheeks, my lips tightly clamped together. Just trying to hold back the laughter.

When I chew a piece of gum, sometimes it reminds me of Tommy's eyeballs.  

You just can’t make this up!

The Official Seenagers 'Can't Make This Up' Improv comedy podcast filled with laughter, wisecracks, self-deprecation, storytelling, and from time to time, some fun interviews.

 OurTeenagerspirit is intact,… it’s just…just that ourSeenagerbodies ache a little, right?! LOL

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